Playing Pscyhologist March 28, 2007
Andragogy is s a term and concept I have only recently learnt. Basically it’s a theory of adult education as opposed to pedagogy – childhood learning. It is part of an ongoing training for all teaching staff at the college that I attended these classes on andragogy twice weekly.
Anyway, today we had another three-hour session with Dr JE. So there we were, five “bloody Sabahan women” (quoting Dr JE from a role-play recently) doing microteaching on Freud’s and Jung’s concepts of personality and behaviour. I remember reading about these fellas from college years but my brain glue wasn’t strong enough to hold on to whatever it was I was supposed to grasp back then. So, microteaching we did… Discussed about how important that educators need to know about learners background, personality, attitude so that learning and behaviour change can be maximised. We even compared our childhood experiences – how we viewed schools those days, whether we realised the purpose of education at that time and our attitude towards pedagogy, yadda yadda… Everyone seemed to have something to say. And in my perception everyone seemed to have had a normal childhood or a normal set of parents who is concerned about the academic welfare of their child until… until… one lady shared her experience. Growing up the seventh among eight siblings, she was always asked to do chores for her older married brothers and sisters until her schooling was neglected from too much work. She was from a poor family background. At age 12 she was already suffering physically because she was a frail, skinny child; what more with all those work of washing clothes for her siblings’ families. She admits she’s not one to say “no” to whatever her family members would request her to do. Sometimes she would feel so tired at night but she can’t say no when her grandmother would ask her for a massage. She’d cried she said, especially thinking about the many homework that she needed to do. “I felt I was too stupid to accept the learning at school because I lagged too far behind the others. I was even made fun of by my classmates when I was in Primary One because I didn’t know my A-B-C. That really hurt me and I felt hopeless.” She cried while telling her story…
I’m trying to remember and write down now the impression our session today made on me but I find myself lose for words or they’re just too slow to appear in my mind. But what really opened my eyes was the fact that each and everyone of us has a vulnerable spot that even many many years later would still ooze tears and blood when brought out. No matter which stage of adulthood we’re in, we can’t leave behind some of those past experiences that made us feel inferior. Like for example, at times I have difficulty expressing myself or saying exactly what I want to mean or just plain shy to talk because I remember as a child I observed the norm that even if you were being spoken to by an adult, the parent would answer or talk on your behalf. Another known practice is a child is taught not to talk too much especially in the presence of adults. “A child should be seen and not heard,” wasn’t it? It’s a very Sabahan thing to do or to be exact an Eastern thing to do. It’s culture they’d say. And it’s not suppose to be seen as good nor bad. And yet many times I curse my inability to verbalise my thoughts quicker or more clearly or contribute to a discussion because of this habit. Of course, I’m positive I’m a little better with communication these days. I can feel comfortable with my silence now not necessarily because I have nothing to say but perhaps it’s wise not to say so or it’s just not the right time to say yet or maybe I just want to let others speak — although I overuse this last one as an excuse not to speak actually :) But like I said, I’m a little better.
What Kind of World Do You Want? March 26, 2007
Today I felt particularly out of control with a lot of things. I had tasks that needed to be finished but I couldn’t because I kept getting disrupted. The wifi connection wasn’t working the whole day and I couldn’t fine tune some of the work that needed research on. I also felt a general feeling of despair over students’ absenteeism in certain classes. Oh, what can a little person do when she has only two little feet and two little hands and two little… And so before the clock said 5:30pm I had already finished packing ready to head out the doors.
Was on my way home, when I heard this song played on TraXX FM. Five for Fighting sang “Superman” didn’t they? Anyway, this one is by them too, called “What Kind of World Do You Want?” I thought it was so appropriate for me today. Why was I running to and fro and still haven’t done much? Is my life right now one that was intended for me? Should I search further? Is it OK to not stop rolling? Should I really be careful for what I wish for? Questions, questions that I have no time to answer. Maybe it’s a call for me to sit down and think it through (: But for now, I just want listen to its easy rhythm, its catchy melody and haunting lyrics.
* * * * *
Got a package full of Wishes
A Time machine, a Magic Wand
A Globe made out of Gold
No Instructions or Commandments
Laws of Gravity or
Indecisions to upholdPrinted on the box I see
A.C.M.E.’s Build-a-World-to-be
Take a chance – Grab a piece
Help me to believe itWhat kind of world do you want?
Think Anything
Let’s start at the start
Build a masterpiece
Be careful what you wish for
History starts now…
Should there be people or peoples
Money, Funny pedestals for Fools who never pay
Raise your Army – Choose your Steeple
Don’t be shy, the satellites can look the other way
Lose the Earthquakes – Keep the Faults
Fill the oceans without the salt
Let every Man own his own Hand
What kind of world do you want
Think Anything
Let’s start at the start
Build a masterpiece
Be careful what you wish for
History starts now…
Sunlight’s on the Bridge
Sunlight’s on the Way
Tomorrow’s Calling
There’s more to this than Love
What Kind of world do you want
What Kind of world do you want
What Kind of world do you want
Think Anything
Let’s start at the start
Build a masterpiece
History Starts Now
Be careful what you wish for
Start Now
(Five for Fighting)
My Egg Yolk March 24, 2007
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A Quiet Place March 24, 2007
I’m not exactly an early riser on Saturday mornings. If the church were an aeroplane I’d have miss my flight (: Well… I’m still deciding whether to go to Ben’s or just stay put. I’ve had a long long week and as usual my weekend is just a one-day celebration. So doesn’t leave me a lot of time to look at the colour of the sky or to contemplate upon my pathetic social life. Nevertheless, Saturday is here and I’m off to find my “Quiet Place” in whatever ways possible.
* * * * *
There is a quiet place
far from the rapid pace
where God can soothe my troubled mind.
Sheltered by tree and flower
there in my quiet hour with him
my cares are left behind.
Whether a garden small,
or on a mountain tall
new strength and courage there I find,
and then from that quiet place
I go prepared to face a new day
with love for all mankind.
(Ralph Carmichael)
Swamped and stumped March 19, 2007
WOW! I felt as if I didn’t do anything today. There was still so much to do before I left at 5.30pm that I felt a little guilty for leaving on time. Still, I had to go home because another set of work is waiting for me — with eyelashes batting, beckoning me to its arms (I’d imagine) (:
Also, for the past one week I’ve been scratching my head on a particular task that was given to me by the wonderful management. To design a syllabus for the Remedial English program in two weeks. Haha. What the fufu do I know about syllabus making – and that within two weeks?? Well, I had no choice but to do so. So, I started off by hunting for books/materials at the bookstores that are sooo limited in KK. I didn’t quite get what I expected to find but it gave me a good chance to browse those racks and racks of beautifuls books. Aaah, plenty of interesting books for future buy. Will write about that in another post.
Anyway, right now my head is still swirling in half-cooked ideas and I have only tomorrow to finish whatever is necessary and present it to other language instructors on Wednesday. Dear Lord, please don’t let me pee in my pants.
Grrrrrrrr March 15, 2007
I woke up a quarter to five a.m. with watery nose. My throat wasn’t acting its usual self the last few days. I’ve been eating chillies everyday since Sunday and also skipping my early morning lemon juice drink for many days now. Please… please let not this be a flu. I can’t afford getting sick when I just want to kill myself with work. Hehe.
When I came to work and greeted a particular colleague good morning I didn’t get any response. She just looked away and I knew something else is amiss beside my watery nose. I’m guessing it has something to do with a task that she didn’t want to accept during a recent meeting. Yesterday she admitted that she was angry with the “forced” responsibility but I said that can be arranged if she really do not want it. Hmmm… I just now noticed how she ignored several other colleagues who attempted to greet her fine wishes for the day. Seems like she’s angry with many people. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I should let her simmer for a while before talking to her again.
Man… I need something to perk me up right now. Nose is killing me and I have six straight hours of teaching today.
Random quote for the day: “A little suffering is good for the soul.” (Anon)
Yeah right!
Tuaran Resort March 11, 2007
I love eating. And not just for fuel sake. I relish every bite and chew that I take. I try not to miss my meals. But even if I do that’s because I really have a bad bad deadline to meet. Luckily that rarely happens because I prioritise my eating more than my bad bad deadline which is a good sign. It’s good to love yourself more than your work, right? (:
Today I had another hi-tea buffet with AT. She loves eating too and she doesn’t mind my last minute invitation to any darn place I’d wanna go. Except that she’s vegetarian so I have to make sure she’s got some choices on vegan foods. So we headed to Tuaran Resort (once upon a time Shabandar Resort) for its weekend hi-tea buffet. Was kinda amused to hear one of the employees greeting us, “Lama inda nampak.” (Long time no see) He. He. So in their book we’re regulars. The choice of food this time? Curry noodles, several types of roti tisu (capati-like roti), yam or fruit fritters, a table full of dessert including ABC (ais batu cendol – icy Malaysian dessert), another table full of local salad, fried rice, fried noodles, dumplings, etc. It’s not really that lavish, nor is the resort near from the main roads, nor is the food cheap. But I like the privacy there. The view of the sunset is quite pretty too on a good weather. There were some guests there today but not enough to call it a crowd. It’s a good place to be if you want to be unknown (except to the employees) and you want to feel salty breeze in your hair while munching your fritters.
Now that I’m full I’m ready for a long long nap. Wake me up next year, please… Burp!
Janji March 10, 2007
S’rahkanlah jiwa ragamu
Dalam perlindungan-Nya
Dan s’gala kebimbanganmu
Dalam penghiburan-Nya
Bunga dan rumput ‘kan layu
Langit akan berlalu
Percayalah janji Allah
Tak kan pernah berubah
Bukalah mata hatimu
T’rima berkat janji-Nya
Berkat berlimpah di syurga
Dijanjikan bagimu.
* * * * *
JG sang this song for vespers last night. Very soothing and has this come-lemme-bring-you-far-away-from-here kinda melody. It really helps to uplift the mind to higher ground, away from life’s worries and discontentment. My accompaniment however proved one thing. I have deteriorated and my fingers are not as quick as it should be. I’ve missed playing the piano but don’t really spend the time to practicing even if it’s just for fun these days. In fact, I don’t remember doing anything for fun for a long long long long long time. Gosh!
Untitled March 8, 2007
I feel sooo tired. I think I not only feel like an old, beat-up truck but I look like one too. Thank God it’s Friday tomorrow (:
My today in 5:
1. Spent 7 1/2 hours teaching.
2. I accidently used the word “babi” (pig) in one of my classes with 30 per cent Muslim students. And that to call one of the student as part of an illustration to whatever point I was making. And that. she. is. a. Muslim. Luckily she didn’t take it seriously and the other students just forgivingly laughed.
3. I have a throbbing headache on the right side of the head right now. I suspect it’s caused by my KFC lunch. Too much MSG? An overdose of spices and meat? Haven’t had chicken in a while, actually… Wait. I gobbled up a Mars bar right after lunch, too. Chocolate + caramel + dead chicken + chillie sauce + coleslaw = _________ ??
4. A 65-year-old man thought that I am beautiful. Bless his heart as fact is he’s half-blind.
5. Contemplating of joining Debbie to Cambodia in October. She’s off to see Angkor Wat with a couple of keen travellers. I’m in dire need of some adventure in a far far away kingdom.
