50 Years of Freedom August 31, 2007

Malaysia is still young. Just 50 years old as a country governing on its own. My Pa is 64 and he experienced the sniffing snout of war when the Japanese army invaded Sabah (back then the British Borneo) in 1941. He was still a boy when strange sounds coming from the sky sent him and his family off into the jungle. Dark iron birds passed over villages and they hid inside holes in the ground for many days and lived on purog (a type of stone). Pa said purog is an edible stone. An edible stone? Till this day I cannot imagine how edible can a stone be. Asked how it tasted – he said tasteless and gritty. It’s soil for goodness sake!

Well, they returned home after the commotion died off. But they were not left safe for long. Japanese soldiers on foot frequently came by looking for food. Feeling threatened, they gave these armed strangers live chickens and sacks of precious rice. Those who didn’t comply were punished. A villager whose buffalo was tied to a tree, had its hind leg cut off while still standing alive. I could imagine the fear, anxiety and hopelessness these simple folks felt. But it is through these same fear that the spirit of rebellion and patriotism was born. Something was taken away from and they had to do something. Mat Salleh, Sabah own’s Robin Hood (although he stole lives not money), showed his defiance against the ruling alien bosses of the land, the British, during the late 18th century. He too felt that the same elemental possession was being taken away from him.

Malaysia is now free from any alien colonisation and free to be proud of their independence, diversity or singularity as a nation. There are many things we can be thankful for. As many as those things that we despise. It has after all its own issues just like any other countries in the world. I haven’t tried articulating this before but I’ll say it now – Malaysia is my home. Sabah is my motherland. And they forever will be. I’ll leave the shouting of Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! within the rounded corners of my head.

* * * * *

 In other news, I just finished burrying Cumi, just next to Poncho. I still have half a packet of puppy food left on the table and their bowls have long dried up. I’m mourning and I can’t help but cry like there is no tomorrow.

RIP August 30, 2007

Poncho

May 10, 2007
August 30, 2007

5 Facts Related to Poncho, Cumi and Giukon August 30, 2007

1.   My puppies weren’t poisoned. They had parvo virus. Too bad I didn’t know better earlier. Otherwise Giukon would have been saved.

2.  The virus attacked the gastro-intestinal track. That’s why they were vomitting a lot. Symptoms include bloody diarrhea (which I didn’t see), lethargy, loss of appetite and dehydration. If your puppies have these symptoms go to the vet immediately! (Forget about Mr. Rubber Tapper’s revenge, you silly cow.)

3.  For some reason kampung dogs have stronger immune system than pure or mixed breed. Poncho and Cumi have 1/4 daschund, 1/4 silver fox and 1/2 kampungan blood in them.

4.  Puppies, especially those of vulnerable breed, should receive their first immunisation at six weeks. If you love them enough, get them further immunisation at nine weeks, then 12. The last one at nine months.

5.  Doctor told me Poncho and Cumi have 60% survival. Cumi was already bleeding when we arrived at the vet just now. She still managed to wag her tail. My heart is breaking.

It’s 12 midnite. I should get some sleep cause it’s a long, long day at work tomorrow. Dear God, please save my puppies!

Poisoned Puppies August 28, 2007

I think my puppies are being poisoned – maybe because they messed around with the tapper’s cups and hanging rubber scrap off the nearby rubber trees. They brought home some of those stinky harden tofu-like sikarap once too many times. That’s a lose for Mr. Rubber Tapper. Perhaps it’s payback time.

Well, Giukon died Sunday. First I suspected worms cause she didn’t want to eat for days. I force fed her Saturday but she vomitted the food. When Pa buried her yesterday morning after I left for work he said there were some blood from her ears and end. Blood?!

So I have two puppies left. Last night when I arrived home, only Poncho greeted me happily. Where was Cumi? Then I saw her at the corner looking sad and a little weak. Noooo! Is she poisoned too? I picked her up and she felt a little warm almost feverish. Pa said she ate well in the afternoon. So we force fed her some herbal medicine. This morning she still looked forlorn.

Can’t help wondering about her right now. I know I will be distracted the whole day. Sigh. Hate how my heart feels like right now – all wobbly and ready to bleed.

Sepuluh budak nakal main tepi longkang,
Seorang terjatuh, tinggal sembilan.
Sembilan budak nakal main kejar-kejar,
Seorang jatuh sakit, tinggal lapan…

What is Your Passion? August 27, 2007

I attended a mini-concert at University of Malaysia Sabah last Saturday by two Malaysian concert pianists: Muzaffar Abdullah and Poh-Eng Sia. They’re both based in France. Well, I enjoyed both their performances. But more especially Muzaffar. Intriguing. It’s not often that you hear of a Malay man becoming a concert pianist. Googled him up a wee bit ago and found an article of him. Hmmm… Here’s one dude who knows his passion and sticks to it. He transported me to another world when he played Poulenc. All dreamy and Monet-like. I stared at his agile fingers and looked down at mine. My tiny, lazy ones. What was that my passion again? I’ve forgotten already. It’s been ages since I last dreamt of becoming a musician. I still enjoy playing the piano during odd days - experimenting, improvising and butchering songs with dischords and mangled melodies. 

Well, the remaining weekend was like a lazy old dog basking in the sun after a long monsoon season. No piano classes today as students were still on vacation. There was no rush, just the necessary movements to get from point A to B. There was no long naps which would have been perfect time-wasting. However, there was an indoor hammock involved and I made full use of it while spending quality time with Mr. Astro. And well, well… what do you know, more than 40 channels to choose from! (News to me!) So I spent six hours in front of the idiot box watching three back-to-back series of CSI at AXN (Channel 17) and flipping between Home and Health (Channel 77), Zee TV (Channel 21), Discovery (Channel 51), blah blah blah. Ask me all and I could tell you where to find what. My new-found passion? TV-watching. Well, even it was just for a day.

A New Day August 20, 2007

“Today is a new day altogether.” 

Everyday is a new day. Today is no exception, I suppose. But then if I were to feel otherwise, would that sound bad or sad? Would I be accused me of being unappreciative of life and be labelled as negative? True enough each day is a new set of 24 hours — until you are faced with the remains of yesterday. Unfinished and yelling to be dealt with. Fragments of something broken have a way of appearing even in the most unlikely places. To step on a tiny, sharp shard is to be reminded of something old: an unfinished task, a broken relationship, or an unsolved personal mystery.

Some days I’d rather forget than remember. For most times, by remembering it makes life a little more miserable. Sighs. It is a new day indeed. Although familiar and an anguishing one.

Friday in 5 August 17, 2007

1.  Red Letter Day – Day 3. Two more days maybe? 

2.  No classes but listened to a group of students give spontaneous speeches in preparation for a competition. Out of 17 students only 5 made it. Well… what to say, I never liked speaking in public either.

3.  Paid a RM20 lunch at Anjappar. Those were my last bucks for the month. Aiyoyo!

4.  Have more or less decided to quit my job before I turn into a pint-size werewolf (wolverine). I’m really a sore loser when it comes to handling work pressures. Sigh.

5.  Thinking hard what a bleeding, sore and broke loser should do to pacify herself this weekend.

10 New Things August 14, 2007

1. Leave for work later. Stop driving self crazy just to leave 6:15am.
2. Avoid dangerous colleagues like lepers.
3. Delegate unpleasant task to someone else. Hehe.
4. Make sure lunch break is one hour or more but not less.
5. Play Solitaire/Minesweeper or whatever there is when bosses add stress.
6. Stop counselling brick-headed students to attend English classes when they choose not to come.
7. Sleep before 10:00pm. And get at least 7 hours of sleep. (Opps! I’m late)
8. Get bitten, scratched or mauled by the puppies more regularly.
9. Laugh more. And louder.
10. Plan to make another offbeat to-do list like this one.

Smoke-Puffing Ears August 11, 2007

I haven’t been a pleasant person lately and particularly this week I breathed fire out of my flaring nostrils to those poor mortals around me. Naturally I’d feel rotten afterwards and apologies would be in order.

It is a wonder though what anger does to people. Whatever it is, a person, an issue, a thing; if that triggers anger of the nastiest type, oh boy… you feel empowered to confront and castrate the very thing that threatens your sanity. In other words, you’d wish to kick a cow to heaven no matter its size or your size. Blood in the veins turns to volcanic liquid, little voice is raised to stifle that of a fishmonger. Self-preservation is the utmost priority and you just want to release bad energy out of the system.

Yes, we can always blame our hormones for misbehaving or burnout or simply the idiot who made us feel like him/her. Still, do you really like being angry? Frankly, I miss my old self when it comes to dealing with anger – my anger. I’d brood about it in the privacy of my room without hurting anyone and crying has always been my favourite pastime (hah!).  But, I know that’s not how to deal with anger either.  Confrontation is necessary but the how-to in a more civilised manner is more important.

As of now, I’m considering locking myself up in the room and let the world go by until my nose and ears are healthy and cute again.

Virus Attack August 8, 2007

I’m typing this entry from this virus infested laptop at work. My dad’s laptop. And I haven’t told him the misfortune that has befallen upon his prized possession. I’ve tried running AVG antivirus program and it couldn’t even detect the culprit :( Although with Housecall, an online scanner, it identified the rascal as worm_imaut.e and reported that the only way to remove it is by deleting it manually – as in following detailed instruction of cuts and pastes including downloading several software off the net purpotedly to kill the worm. Blurgh! It’s just too messy and unsafe. I’m no sure what other bad jokes it does to the system but a known fact so far is that it’s sending people on my yahoo messenger list Vietnamese messages with links to whatever hell-holes there are on the internet.

Well, our IT personnel recommended that the other alternative is to reformat my C drive. So sad.