Keeping It Real July 28, 2008

There are times when you know you’re not being yourself
At times you cringe when being you make others cringe
So in turn you change so others will not be offended
Yet what is it that we often hear? Be yourself?

I look around and see the multitude of faces
Some smiling in transparent sincerity
Others trying on indescribable masks
Could it be that they too know the price of being themselves?

It may not be easy talking about our differences
As much as possible you show what’s only common
And thus paint a picture of being the friend of all men
But is this who you really really want to show yourself to be?

You may have reasons to keep your silence
And keep us at bay as to the real reasons
Don’t be quick to carry the burden on your own
For there are kindred spirits out there who know what Being Yourself means

I’d hate to think that I’m the only one with these thoughts
The decades that have passed shouldn’t come to nothing
Don’t waste the time wondering what others may think
Be happy, be real, and be true to yourself!

This-and-That Shots July 26, 2008

Boys outside the house of prayer

The Chariots (singers composing of mostly African students) rendering a song for Divine Service

Some of the Malaysian and Indonesian inhabitants on campus

Balcony seaters

Boy, Joshua, Ryan, Raday, Moses in their handsomest poses

Lunch at Pizza Hut: Nani, Jov and Faridah

Raday and &$#@%!

Moses

Faridah, the other Sabahan lass from Tuaran and Joshua

True Learning is… July 21, 2008

There, there now. The last thing I want to do is be all philosophicalilitpinggang about education and learning. It’s been almost a month since I first stepped into the College campus but I feel I have been here longer than that. By now, I can not only memorize individual lecturer’s trademark expression but also predict when the so…OK or Do you understand? will come. Having been a teacher myself before, I know how important preparation is before you face the class each day. Now that the table is turned (once more), I realized it’s equally important to prepare mentally for the type of lecturer(s) you will meet that day and do everything possible (except, hopefully, ass-kissing) in preparation.

Some days I get inspired with the “new” things that I learnt that day but there are days when I would instead daydream about a much better place than where I was then. It’s like going through the cold-hot water treatment on a daily basis until the swelling ankle subsides but in this case my ankle is just fine. Then again maybe the Man Upstairs saw that my ego is swelling and in need of some eye-opening experiences.

Despite the challenge of being in a foreign place and also going through a campus-culture shock, I feel this is the change I need. Learning confined within a four-walled classroom isn’t the whole package of education. It’s how you sift the good and bad in your head and can still treat both of them the same. Of course, words are so easy to say. I had on a few occasions come back to the apartment in dire need of encouragement. And behold, mental silicon bags to uplift my sagging spirit came in forms of e-mails from friends far and near. It’s always a good feeling to learn that I’ll never be abandoned by the universe.

Anyway, my perjuangan has just started. Please pray for me.

Getting Her Attention 101 July 18, 2008

Time: 12:30AM

Girl: (fast asleep, snoring cutely)

Her cell phone rings for half a minute.

Girl: (groggily) Mmmllo?

Boy: (all perky) Hellooo! Sleeping already?

Girl: (still groggily) Mmmmya. Whooish dissh?

Boy: Aaah. You forgot already??

Girl: (a quarter awake) Whoooo?

At this point phone reception gets a little woozy.

Boy: Remember we… krzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrk …just now krzzzzzzzzzk road side?

Girl: What? I cannot hear you…

Boy: We met… krzzzzzzzrk …road side and… krzzzzzzzzzk…

Girl: Ohhh. Yeah, I remember. (half awake and vaguely recalling meeting casually two guys from the college earlier on) Mmm. Errr… what time is it now?

Boy: (perkier and deaf to the question) You remember me?! OK, say my name… say my name… say my krzzzzzzzzk…

Girl: (a little cautious) Hey, can we talk tomorrow I’m very sleepy.

Boy: Ohh. You forgot my krzzzzzzzzk…

Girl: (stumped and still sleepy) No, really I just want to sleep.

Boy: Are you sure krzzzzzzzzk want to sleep?

Girl: What? Yes, I’m very sleepy. Maybe I’ll talk to you at church tomorrow?

Boy: Krzzzzzzzk you really want to sleep? O-Krrrzzzzzzzzzzk

Girl: Alright, good night.

Boy: OK.

Next morning in church, girl happens to sit a bench away from the boy. After the service girl came up to the boy:

Girl: Hey, how are you? Did you call me last night?

Boy: (smiling sheepishly) I don’t know.

Girl: (confused) ???

Boy: (walked away still smiling but without further effort to converse)

Honk OK, Please! July 13, 2008

I was amused to see this sign painted on the back bumper of a lorry. In fact, most, if not all, the lorries that I’ve seen had this sign: Honk OK, please! But what the heckfor? Back home, it is considered rude to honk other road users without reasons.

Well, I’m not sure why but everyone here honks incessantly and quite unnecessarily. From the motorbikes to the big lorries and buses – they honk at every turn. Change lane, honk. Drives pass another vehicle, honk. See a pedestrian a mile away from the road, honk. And everyone seems to be in a hurry and they have no qualms about overtaking others in a manner many will consider obnoxious. So it’s no wonder that a two-lane-road easily becomes three or even four. I use to wait apprehensively at any junctions to see if our vehicle can turn safely. At one glance, you think you have no chances of going across when honking vehicles whiz by from all sides. It definitely takes incredible guts to be a driver here me thinks but not impossible because after a while, you see some kind of organization within chaos. After a while, you can’t help but admire the expertise of road users maneuvering and surviving the crazy road traffic. After a while, you understand their mentality that both life and the Indian traffic is a test of survival of the fittest. Thank God, there isn’t any causality so far even with the road rush and the incoherent (almost non-existence) road ethics.

Now, if only I could shut them honkers. Oh, my poor ears…

Reading Report Kerepot July 8, 2008

It’s 8:30PM and I’ve just printed out a one-page reading report which embarassingly took me three damn hours to type! Gosh… I hope I won’t be like this forever, it might take me to finish this degree 5-6 years after all. But age factor does have an affect lah when you go back to school at a not-so-young age. I’m not sure how Mrs NP will look at my report. I heard she likes to give plenty of assignments (but at the same time I heard from someone else that she doesn’t have time to check them thoroughly).  So. I don’t know whether to be grateful or otherwise.

But one thing for sure, I have plenty of things to learn about (at least in this “chosen” field of mine) and that knowledge is endless. In fact, when I think about the time, money and energy one has to spend on pretty much abstract yet supposedly behaviour-changing feats, I wonder if I won’t be turned off by it all by the time I’m through with education. When I compare with what I’ve been doing the last six months (staying home and waiting for my piano kids to come) I feel much more competent then than how I feel right now. Then again, this is the right change I need. A comfort zone can be boring place after a while, no? :) Anyway. Hmmm suddenly all these words are pouring out from the crevices of my brain. Chis… I think I’m shaken up by a mere reading report! Haha.

Some More Weekend Shots July 7, 2008

Rickshaw ride.

Scene from my rickshaw of Niyoshi Park Road

A common sight of scarf-donning motorists – women, especially.

The market(s) at almost every corner of any bustling neighborhood.

Sunday ice-cream with friends.

Oshin enjoying her lunch.

The birthday girl treating her friends to lunch :)

A farewell party for Dr. P. Manu.

Education majors.

Spicy Samosa and the ball-like thing is Jamu Gulab (or is it Gulab Jamu) a type of Indian sweet dessert.

The lovely Samosa model :D

Parents’ Day July 5, 2008

Since we celebrate Mother’s Day and Father’s Day on separate days, well I didn’t know of a Parents’ Day until today. A special program was incorporated in the divine service at church. Well, the fact that my parents are far away coupled with the unpretentious yet touching testimonies given by a few of the kids about their own parents made me shed a tear or two. It is just the right gesture to give our parents or parent while there is still time and some breathe are in us.

I too recall specific incidents in the past involving divine kindness that can only vouch for the unconditional love of my parents. There was one instance which I can never forget (and I won’t be surprise if this was a repeat from any previous entries). I could be about 8 or 9 at that time and it was 2:30AM. Somehow I was woken up by my hunger. It was a hunger so great, I could actually feel my limbs quaking. I walked groggily to my parents room and the first person who woke up was my Dad. “Kenapa tu?” he asked. What’s wrong? “Saya rasa lapar.” I told him I was hungry. He went to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, found some foods and proceded to make some peanut and jam sandwich for me. It was a simple act of fulfilling the most basic of need but to me it was the show of unconditional love. Without reserve and questions. Despite the wee hour, and the slumber he was rudely awaken up from, he didn’t complain (as I would have and did have so many times when it became an inconvenience for me – shame on me!) nor did he say anything to demean me. As for my mother, well, I can’t write enough about what she has done to me and for me. As time goes on and as both my age and their age advance, appreciation for those we love grows bigger and understanding of life comes clearer though not perfectly. I gave them a call an hour ago and their voices sound even sweeter even though we just talked about nothing in particular. Well, as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. And I’m feeling both the distance and the fondness even now.